haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
