So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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