Redeem this text for a blowjob
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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