I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I want to fling myself into the sun
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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