you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
