how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
