Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
