Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
