So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
