let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
