Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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