Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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