i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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