so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
