Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
