I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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