Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
