Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
