theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
