Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
