at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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