we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
