I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
