can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
