He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
