i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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