how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
