I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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