my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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