god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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