just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
