mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
