Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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