you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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