Me. At least after what I've been through.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
