Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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