she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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