i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
