Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
