so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
