Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
