I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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