Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
