Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
