there was a trapeze. enough said
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
