Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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