Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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