I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
