That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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