He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
