Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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