my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We are two peas in an std pod
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
